Today as we honor the mothers in our lives it seems fitting to honor Granny. I shared at her funeral that honoring her that day was the most difficult yet simultaneously the easiest thing I’ve ever done as she lived in such a way that it was incredibly easy to honor.
Granny. So strong and so loving, I’ve heard many say, she made me feel like I was her own…and that’s because you were in her heart.
Her love was big and all-encompassing. As a family we all knew that her heart was so big it had to be shared. There was no separation in her worlds, they all collided and we were all invited on the journey.
Wherever she was, home was there too…for so many.
She was so secure and confident in who she was created to be and I know that’s how she was able to love so big and graciously.
She was so kind and so classy…such a lady.
And so fun and so independent…yet so beautifully dependent on her Lord and Savior.
And so gifted…and so fierce…ever played a game of spoons with her? She would leave with the spoon and you’d leave bleeding (I have scars to prove it)…and did I mention so fun, and spontaneous …yet consistent in the most comforting way …and talented …and down to earth and humble and an incredible leader and so loyal; she was a loyal wife, mom, friend, sister, grandmother, and minister.
Ministry was her life and many people know Jesus because of her.
She was and is everything good.
She would do so so so much for so many. I’ve always been in awe and wonder of how she would do it all. It was never to be seen by anyone, but always because it was who she was and what she felt was right in her heart.
Daddy, you get that from her.
I’ve always wanted to be just like her. I’ve always wanted to be her shadow and right underneath her feet …just near her…and she would let me. She had a way about her that she could go on and do all of her daily duties while inviting people along the journey, I thought it was the best when I was a little girl when she said that I was her assistant (I never grew out of thinking that was the best…).
I would open the door for those that were coming to discuss which cakes they wanted for their special event and I would walk them to her office, aka the dining room. I took my job very seriously…she always made people feel important. And side note about cakes: my daily childhood snack was cake batter with frosting on each fingertip (and all us grandkids said, “AMEN!”)…and I didn’t know until I moved away to college that sugar isn’t actually good for you …like I was raised to believe …and not everyone goes to weddings mainly for the cake.
Granny never made you feel like an inconvenience but always made sure you knew that you had a place with her. I would sit at her counter and watch her for hours as she made candy roses and decorated her cakes (it is always amazing to hear from so many just how many cakes she made, it had to of been thousands – I know she loved making cakes, but I know she loved being part of your special moments even more)
She was mesmerizing. There’s no other way to describe it.
I could (and I did) watch her for hours.
And then, she would always let me try and decorate and make those same candied roses. She would hold my hands and show me how, but I couldn’t make a flower like her no matter how many times tried.
She had an ease about her that not only made what she was doing look easy, but would also put others at ease around her.
I watched (so many times) people’s cares leave at her doorstep as they walked right into her house…because what even was a door bell?
People knew they could come on in and she liked it that way.
And when they would leave, Granny almost never let you leave empty handed. You’d leave with some cake crumbs, or candy, or an entire pound cake…
I can remember in college I would “grocery shop” in her house. She’d laugh as she walked me to my car (as she always would – you know us southerners don’t know how to say a simple goodbye, it lasts a good fifteen minutes) and I had rolls of toilet paper to take back to my college apartment and clean laundry she had just folded.
She lived by example — she didn’t have to teach with her words but rather she taught with her actions.
She showed us how to love by loving.
She made each person that she was with feel like the most important person in the room.
Anytime I would walk in her house, she would have little notepads everywhere with to-do lists: people she wanted to call, people she was going to pick up, people she was praying for, praise reports— her life was a life dedicated to people.
She never made it seem like a job but rather it’s just who she was.
Loyalty oozed from her. She would always send cards and packages at what seemed like the very perfect timing.
I will never forget as a newlywed (and new pastor’s wife) her sending me a clipping from a paper about being a pastor’s wife and her handwritten recipes. She knew the new shoes I found myself in and she was so sensitive to the needs of others.
I will treasure her handwritten letters for my entire life.
Because of her I will love harder. I will live with intention. I will live in such a way that I can look back and say I lived a good long life – because that is exactly what she did.
This last Thanksgiving, I was curled up next to her on her outside swing and I asked her,
“Granny if you could give me one piece of life advice what would it be?”
…and in true Granny fashion she didn’t answer me directly but rather she answered in such a way that it caused me to think and figure it out myself…but she said,
“You know, with me being nearly 84 and your papa 86 and with 64 years of marriage… I just think the good Lord for a good long life and I’m so grateful for our kids they do so much for us.”
That was it …and I just kept thinking over her words (as I often would) because they were and ARE truly the most valuable thing I own. I realized her life advice is stay committed, even when it’s hard, stay loyal and true and love your family hard and be grateful most for the people God has given you.
My Granny had many gifts and talents but up there at the top was her gift of gathering people…she did this up until her last breath where she was surrounded by her family…she gathered us.
She was so intentional about gathering her family… and making sure we each had something we wanted to eat at the table. I can remember I was still in the hospital after giving birth to my daughter (which was in mid-November) and she said,
“Well, baby…do you think you’ll make it to Thanksgiving this year?”
And I laughed, “Yes, Granny, I think I’ll be at Thanksgiving.”
And while I know nothing will ever be the same, I smile as I know that many lives were touched by my granny’s life and you know…my Granny was great at planting things (and keeping them alive) and well, I don’t know much about planting (I am learning more about it in her honor, though!) but I do know this…my grandmother has planted something in each of us and I smile because when you plant something and you tend to it…it grows.
I challenge us today to take every bit of wisdom, love, and joy that we have received from my granny and we make it grow in honor of her legacy.
Let’s extend our tables and our hearts and love each other well because that’s what she would want and that’s what she dedicated her life to…and that is how we can honor her.
And I want nothing more than for my life to honor her life. I spent several nights in the ICU with her, I just wanted to be close to her. I would just hold her hand and get on my knees and I would beg and plead with God to not take her…she was one of the greatest treasures that God has ever given me.
The last thing I wrote in my prayer journal was, “God, Do the miraculous.” And I can’t think of anything more miraculous than my granny being completely healed completely set free and with the one that created her.
I prayed,
“God you created her lungs… so restore them, make them better than they were before she got in this hospital.”
I then prayed, “God let her latter-days be greater than her former days…”
I prayed all of those things with all my heart and I can tell you with everything in me that God answered those prayers.
He did the most miraculous thing that Saturday with her family by her side as she took her last breath and then with the next she was with her creator. I found a note from her that said,
“We are only one breath away from eternity.”
She was right. Let’s make our breaths count.
She is my kindred heart; my greatest friend and I will live a life of gratitude that she was mine.
Summer in November 