Just Wait

It is easy for the words “just wait” to flow from our lips. I know I am guilty of nonchalantly speaking those words over others and I have heard them countless times in various seasons of my life.

“Just wait until you graduate…”
“Just wait until you get a “real” job…”
“Just wait until you get married…”
“Just wait until you have kids…”

The list could go on & on.

But the truth is, God gives us the grace to live out the life that He has put in front of us today.

There was a time for me to be single and it wasn’t until that season was complete that I would be anything else. I had to take the time to learn and embrace all that God had for me as a young single.

Like, that time he wanted me to learn to trust in His provision and push me to serve others on my first overseas mission trip.

Oh and am I ever so grateful for all of those trips with friends where time didn’t matter…

& I’ll never forget the excitement of buying my first home.

Entering the workforce, etc.

God graced me in that season.

Then, came John.

I knew when John began pursuing me that God wanted me to marry him even though he was unlike anyone else I had ever dated.

There was something in him that God needed me to partner with for His purposes.

So, John and I walked into marriage.

God empowered us to walk into marriage by His grace.

It wasn’t and isn’t always pretty, but that’s because life is sometimes messy as we navigate through unchartered territory.

Especially when we let ourselves (usually me) get in the way of things.

Let me go down memory lane…

The countless youth & young adult trips we led together.

The adventures in India.

& Thailand.

We have been married for four years in June, but we have packed those four years with some of the best adventures.

The latest & greatest adventure being our baby girl, Summer.

I can remember before having Summer, people saying things like,

“Get it all out now before you have kids…”

“You just need a baby!”

As though I could just magically make a baby appear.

I know there was no harm meant by those comments, but the truth is, I couldn’t change the fact that I didn’t have a baby, yet. There wasn’t anything wrong with John & I living out life the only way we knew how as a young married couple, in ministry, without babies. There wasn’t anything lacking in our marriage, just like there wasn’t anything lacking in my life when I was a young single, living out my life the only way I knew how.

One day at a time, following God’s voice.

Now, it’s, “Just wait until you have two babies…”

But, I can’t make two babies appear, just like I couldn’t just make Summer appear, just like I couldn’t make a husband appear…you see where I am going with this?

Don’t you dare believe the lie that your current season isn’t enough.

I want to encourage the person reading this who feels like they are lacking something in their current season of life. I want to encourage the person that has been told, “just wait…” a few too many times and has started to believe that something is wrong with just embracing the life that is right in front of them.

Enjoy your life and don’t feel one bit of guilt doing so.

Don’t you dare believe the lie that your current season isn’t enough. It is enough. You are enough. & God sees you. Walk out your current season with grace & contentment, knowing that God is fully capable of catapulting you into your next season, when it is time. Just because people around you are walking out what you think you should be walking in, don’t allow yourself to become bitter.

Dive into life and soak up the moments. Don’t rush out of a season in a hurry to get to the next thing. Relish each day that comes and get every drop out of life.

Fix your eyes on Jesus and focus on one day at a time. Don’t miss out on what is right in front of you. Life is happening today.

Remember, you can’t fast forward and you can’t go back, but you can seize the moment that is right in front of you. Life is not perfect, in fact, it is quite the opposite. & the same goes for people. We are all imperfect and are all in need of forgiveness from time to time. So today, extend a little more grace, forgiveness and mercy to those that are in your lives. Especially to those who have (probably unknowingly) said some things that have cut you to your core.

Forgive.

Let it go.

Live your life fully for the One that created you.

He sees you.

He loves you.

He has good plans for you.

Believe it, receive it, walk it out.

Ecclesiastes 3

New Living Translation (NLT)

A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. 15 What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

Nothing is Missing

I am undone.

It’s 9 in the morning on a Monday and I am already undone. Tears, snot…THE works.

Yesterday, I went on a jog and midway I stopped, sat in the sand and looked out at the ocean. It’s in those moments that my Father whispers to my heart. His promise to us is if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. I know that He is near me. Not that there is anything special about me, but only for the reason that He is a good Father that doesn’t lie. I draw near to Him & in return, He draws near to me. I live for Him and I adore His presence more than anything else in the world. I know that when I seek Him, I find Him. Yesterday, I told Him I wanted an extra measure of His presence. & it was in that moment that I looked out and saw the birds dipping into the water and flying above me. & His still small voice whispered…

You see them? They aren’t worried. They are taken care of. I love you more than that. You will be taken care of.

My comfort zone as a friend and as a person is to be the giver, the listener, the encourager & in this current season of life I have been pushed out of every comfort zone I have created. It has been like eating huge slices of humble pie, every. single. DAY. But, this morning I am in tears, because God is reminding me that not only does HE see me, but those around me see me. They love me not just when I have things to give, but they love me when they are the ones that are actually giving of themselves to me. They love me in my weakness just as much as when I am walking in strength & I can’t stop the tears from flowing.

You see. John and I just recently ventured out into a season that has been so uncomfortable for us in every way. In our marriage, ministry, everything. We stepped out of full time ministry into the great unknown. Literally, the unknown. It’s one thing to step into the unknown when you are single, or maybe even as a young couple, but when you throw babies into the mix, it gets a little bit scarier, because your every decision impacts their little lives.

It’s like we went from having a scary near death experience and walked into another scary season of unknown, and in both of those scenarios the only constant, comfort and known thing is that God is good, no matter the circumstance. This season for John & I screams out, God you have to show up, you have to come through on your promises. And it’s in those times that I am reminded that I am His daughter. It’s funny how those words come to life in a very different way every time I look into the eyes of my daughter. I take care of her because I love to take care of her. Like a weird satisfaction washes over me when I am able to calm her, especially in the middle of the night, when often I am the only one that hears her little whimpers. When the rest of the world is quiet and it’s just me and her and I comfort her back into deep rest. I can’t help but think of God that way. When I am worshipping and tears won’t stop and it’s like He reminds me of his nearness. He covers me with His presence and I am calmed and reminded that He will take care of my every need because He is my Father.

Yesterday, He told me, I am His child and my job is to have faith. I love to excel at the tasks presented before me and in this season, when the overwhelming feeling tries to overtake me and turn into a wave of anxiety, I am reminded that He will come through, He is good, He has taken care of me time and time again, and He will this time, as well.

See, in the physical, John and I are in a season of lack, but really, we lack nothing. God is supplying more than what we need. He is preparing us for what He has prepared for us. We taste of His goodness every single day. He is literally our strength in this season and every season. His provision drops right when we need it, every single time. Sometimes it looks like groceries coming in when we weren’t sure how we were going to have them and sometimes it’s a vehicle we weren’t expecting.

I was reading Proverbs 31 this morning. Those verses have never been more alive to me as they are currently. Before we had the second vehicle I would gladly walk to grocery store while baby wearing to get the things that I needed for dinner. & I jokingly would say to myself…now this is being a real Proverbs 31 woman! Haha!

But wouldn’t you know, it’s in THESE seasons, that we are able to relate to others and make the goodness of God famous. You have to need a miracle in order to experience a miracle. Miracles look different to every person, but we all need a move of God in our lives. The night my child was born, she was a miracle, but at the same time, I needed a miracle so that I would be able to raise my baby (See Post). Miracles in this season are when I am able to look into the eyes of my husband and speak life into him when the enemy wants to scream his ugly lies. I am able to figure out ways to make dinner for my family from WHATEVER is in the kitchen. I am able to get up in the middle of the night and care for the greatest reward the Lord has ever blessed me with, my daughter. I am able, because God is able, and He works through my hands. WHAT AN HONOR. I thank the Lord for this season.

When the enemy tries to come in and steal our joy from us, I will choose to praise God. I will laugh without fear of the future. That is my character, because I can trust His character. I am a woman that will trust God at His word & I choose to trust Him no matter what the circumstances are screaming.

His voice whispers to my heart that all is well and NOTHING is missing.

A Wife of Noble Character

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

13 She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm[c] clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

New Mommy Must-Haves

A very wise person told me before Summer’s arrival that all she would need would be love, food and a place to sleep. She was very right, but here are a few things that have made life easier for this first time mama!

Summer will be 2 months old on January 10th & these are our favorite things so far! I am no baby expert, actually the opposite. That being said, these are things that work for us. Summer is unlike any other baby, just like every other baby out there is different than my girl. She doesn’t like to be swaddled, currently refuses a pacifier and changes a little everyday. I know this list will change as she grows.

Here goes!

Her swing, my baby girl LOVES her swing! We went with the Graco Simple Sway with soothing vibrations (found here). Anything with soothing vibrations has been great for us. I think part of the reason she likes it so much is that we put her in it as soon as we got home from the hospital. There are times she is crying with us and as soon as we place her in the swing, she gets happy (literally, John just did this).

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Her bouncer. This came with her pack n play (found here). It also has the soothing vibrations. Summer loves to sleep in her bouncer. Is that even okay?! I don’t know, but she loves it. She is actually in it as I am writing this post (see picture below).

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Nursing pads are a lifesaver. My favorite nursing pads were the ones they gave at the hospital, just ask for them! I have also used the Lansinoh (here) & the reusable pads that I can wash in the laundry and reuse. Speaking of…the other kind of pads, go ahead and find your favorite and stock up. You’ll need them…and they’re another new mommy must have. Again, I really like the ones from the hospital & those glamorous mesh underwear (no shame in my game, haha). Go ahead and ask them for some extras to take home before you leave the hospital.
A glider, rocker or recliner. We pretty much live in our glider. We went with one that reclines as well as rocks. I have cuddled and rocked her to sleep countless times in this thing!

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A throw blanket and nursing gowns/robes/bras/tanks. I didn’t know how much I would use these items whenever I bought them while pregnant. I use them every single day. It makes life so much easier. I packed these items in my hospital bag and it made for a much more comfortable stay at the hospital and now while at home.

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A stroller travel system. This is a major plus for when Summer falls asleep on our way to a place or whenever she falls asleep in her stroller while out & about. Summer does not like car rides so when she finally falls asleep it’s nice to have the option to keep her asleep easily as we transfer her to & fro. We chose the Bob Motion Travel System.

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Zippers are your friend! Especially at night whenever we have to change her. I rarely put her to sleep in anything that requires buttons. Night gowns and zip-up sleepers are my favorite, especially sleeper sacks.

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Changing station. We went with dresser drawers and put a changing pad on top. In addition to the changing pad cover, we put an extra changing cloth on top of that. Babies will go whenever they have to go, so it’s always nice to have backups! I keep her diapers and all essential changing items in the top left drawer and her sleepers in the top right drawer for easy access after her night time bath. I know people say that diaper genies aren’t necessary, and while I agree it isn’t necessary, we really like ours. It’s convenient to have it right next to our changing table. It’s also convenient to have the dirty clothes hamper right next to the table so that we can just throw her clothes in the hamper after changing her.
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This baby tub has been great for us. It holds her up perfectly which gives me two free hands to wash her. (here)
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Playmats. Great for tummy time! You can find this one here.

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Car seat cover. I bought this one from milk snob. She has multi functional covers on the site that are intended for nursing & car seat covers. The one I purchased was meant just for the car seat, but I have used it several times as a nursing cover. It’s lightweight and breathable.

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Baby blankets. We use several everyday. Comes in handy for obvious reasons, but also if you are in a jam and need it as a changing pad, nursing cover, wipe up spit up, etc. It’s great to have several. It’s nice to always have extra whenever we are washing them. A favorite to double as a nursing cover are the Aden + Anais (found here). These are lightweight and perfect for hot Florida weather.

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Coffee. No explanation needed.

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Splurge on newborn photos if you can. It’s one of my favorite things to look back on. It takes a special person to capture these moments. I especially loved the way Liza Webb treated our newborn. You’d never guess our little Summer cried the entire three hour session. Liza was patient, gentle and determined to get the perfect shot of our little girl. Thank you, Liza!
A camera & phone with unlimited storage! Seriously…I have always been one to take entirely too many pictures & now..Oh. My. Goodness! Next level on the amount of pictures I take. Go ahead and clear your phone and SD card.
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& here are the things that you can’t put a price tag on: A helpful husband who changes an equal amount of diapers as me & puts her to sleep whenever he knows I need a little extra sleep. Friends and family who helped clean & cook meals in those first couple of weeks whenever we were just trying to navigate life as a family of three. A lot of prayer & lots of guidance from the Holy Spirit.

I spent a ton of time researching and looking for what was helpful to other new mommies before having Summer. If this is helpful in any way please share with other mommies-to-be or new mamas.

What was one of your must-haves?! Share in the comments!

Happy New Year!

Today was my first workout of the year & my first time working out since having Summer. I listened to my body, used lighter weights and took advantage of modifications. It felt incredible to get back to something I love. I started AND finished & that felt good.

I have never been more grateful for the convenience of working out at home. To be completely honest, working out with mom hair and a maternity robe…EVERYONE is grateful I chose to workout in the comforts of my home.

I streamed Beachbody on Demand. Anyone can sign up for Beachbody on Demand. It allows you to stream your favorite workouts, anywhere.

I will post my coaching link below and my coach ID.

Try it out!

I tried out the new Hammer & Chisel today and it was love at first workout.

When it comes to working out, find the type of exercise that works for YOU. Get moving & don’t give up. Show up on days that the motivation just isn’t there & treat your workouts like a very important appointment…because it is!

CHEERS TO THE NEW YEAR!

Each new year it’s like we are given a clean slate to begin again. I would say, at the start of each new day we are given a clean slate. We have choices that only we can make.

Choose the things that your future self will thank you for.

Choose to speak life & pray over the people in your life. Choose to better yourself by getting in that workout. Choose to call that friend you haven’t heard from in a while and catch up.

Choose to do the things that make you come alive.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live”

Deuteronomy 30:19

Beachbody on Demand allows you to workout from any device, anywhere!

My Coach ID: 248853

The Greatest Gift

On November 10, 2015 I received the greatest gift I could’ve ever asked for, my daughter, Summer.

Before her arrival I spent a lot of my free time researching any & everything that had to do with babies. I asked my mommy friends countless questions and stayed up late every night watching entirely too many reviews.

I wanted to be prepared.

I had decided that I would have a natural birth, without any pain medication.

I didn’t go into labor on my original due date, but I began to have contractions around 12 a.m. on November 10th.

I woke my husband at 3 a.m., when my contractions became very consistent.

We decided to head to the hospital around 6 a.m.

We were given a room almost immediately.

I continued to have consistent contractions and around 10:30 a.m. they gave me an epidural, hence the smile.

So much for no pain meds…back labor’s NO joke.

Kudos to all you mama’s out there, you’re amazing!

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We contacted immediate family and let them know they should head to the hospital, Summer Kate would be making her appearance soon.

Our family began to arrive & we were all so excited to meet Summer!

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It was around 3 p.m. when they told me it was time to start pushing.

With each push I gave it all of my concentration and strength.

After three solid hours of pushing, my doctor let me know that Summer’s hand was by her head and it would be best for Summer if I had a C-Section. It was then that my friend Savanna, who was taking birth photos, whispered in my ear…

“Shauna, God told me this morning that you would have a C-section and it was all going to be okay.”

I told the doctor that a C-section would be fine, but asked if I could see my dad before heading back for surgery.

My dad came in & I let him know that I was scared.

“Shauna, that is how you came into this world and it’s going to be okay.”

With his comfort I was sent off to have our girl.

We were going to meet her very soon!

John put on his scrubs (his favorite part of this entire deal, besides meeting his baby girl, of course!) & they prepared me for delivery.

The mood in the operating room was upbeat & happy. I can remember some of my favorite 90’s jams playing in the background.

The moment we had been waiting for happened.

At 7:28 p.m. we welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world.

I don’t know who was crying louder, John, or our baby.

She was 9 pounds and 20 inches long.

A healthy baby girl with a head full of black hair.

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When the surgery was complete we went to the recovery room.

Our baby girl was there, waiting for us.

I got to hold her for the first time. She nursed right away, a moment I will never forget. As she was nursing I asked the nurse in the room to check me. I was feeling a lot of fluid on my legs. She checked me and said she would be right back. She returned with the charge nurse.

She told John to take Summer.

That fluid I was feeling was blood, and a lot of it. They began removing blood clots, but couldn’t get them all. Every time they pushed my stomach, blood would rush out of me. I was losing a lot of blood and no matter the medication they gave me or what they tried, the blood wouldn’t stop. I asked them if what was happening was normal, but they wouldn’t answer, they just said they were going to figure it out. They mentioned the word blood transfusion to each other & before I knew it, my doctor was back in the room. He had already told us goodnight and that he would see us in the morning, so I knew his return meant that things were getting pretty serious.

The bed that they had me on wasn’t one that could be broken down to do exams, so they put a hospital pan under me and he began to check me more. It was painful, but I didn’t want anymore pain medication, I wanted to be fully present for my baby girl.

I refused the pain medication when the lady came in to give it to me.

I was ready for this to be done so I could be with my family.

He couldn’t stop the bleeding.

They rushed me back to the operating room.

He tried to stop the bleeding without having to reopen my incision, but it wasn’t possible.

They began the emergency surgery.

As quickly as I was losing blood, they were putting it back in me.

I can’t imagine what that moment was like for John. He had been waiting for over 9 months to meet this little girl & in a moment he was in a room by himself with her & all he knew was that his wife was bleeding uncontrollably at a very fast pace.

They reopened my incision from the surgery that gave us Summer. They still couldn’t find where the bleeding was coming from. I wasn’t coherent for any of this, but as my family received updates, they were praying.

My doctor called together a team of doctor’s & they were all working together. To put a very long story short, I had lost all of my blood & they didn’t think I would live. I shouldn’t be here today.

But God.

I am so grateful for the team of doctor’s who worked together to save my life.

Before any of these things happened God had reminded me on October 29th that there is no fear in love.

(see post here –> https://www.instagram.com/p/9rjkTEt0k6/)

I was in my car that day & Steffany Gretzinger’s, “No Fear in Love,” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjT61SrGYGI) came on & God’s presence fell so heavy in the car. I knew He was telling me to rest in Him. I had been having fears about becoming a mother. Not the birth, but fears about whether or not I would be a good mom to my new daughter. Fear doesn’t come from God, but from the enemy. He was using these fears to take away from the joy of the pregnancy & upcoming birth of my daughter. See, I thought God was telling me there’s no fear in love because of that particular fear, but God was preparing me for a battle I didn’t know was coming. I would be battling for my life in the near future, and I didn’t know it.

Years before getting pregnant I began to focus on working out & fueling my body with the foods that it needed. I thought I was just working out to be healthy, I never would have imagined God was preparing my body for battle.

We may think we know why we are preparing the way we are but the more I live, the more I am reminded that God’s ways are higher and He is always getting us ready for what lies ahead.

When I was on that operating table for the emergency surgery they thought they would have to perform a hysterectomy, they weren’t sure I would make it, but I believe with my entire heart that God was guiding their hands & he was breathing His life into me.

When I was weak, He strengthened me.

It wasn’t time for me to leave this earth.

The gift of Summer in my life is to remember that every second with her is to be cherished, and not only every moment with her, but every moment with those that God has given me in this life. I want to etch every moment into my memory, to never be forgotten, which by the way is hard because “mommy-brain” is so very real. I almost lost my life, but I believe one of the reasons God gave it back to me is to raise my girl to know Him, to know that we are built to live for God and to do hard things in this life through His strength.

I will love Summer with every fiber of my being and to the best of my ability I will guide her in His truth. I will love her, I will kiss her until she is 70, I will let her know that even though I love her more than I imagined possible, she has a heavenly Father who loves her more. I will breathe in that sweet baby’s smell and stare at her for entirely too long. I will hold her when I should be cleaning and I will sit back and take in moments more. I will love and forever be grateful for every moment that could have been taken too quickly from me.

I am grateful for every detail that wasn’t part of my original plan. I am grateful every time I have a twinge of pain where they put my epidural, because that reminds me I was able to give life to a precious girl. I am grateful for my incision because it reminds me that not only was I able to give life, but that my life was restored back to me.

I am reminding you today, in this season, to be fully present. To take in all that life has to offer. The good, bad, sad and happy. We are able to have these moments because we are alive & to be alive is a gift. During this season, cherish life above all of the other gifts that will fade away and love those around you a little longer and so much harder than you thought possible.

Thank you for reading as I begin this journey of

Summer in November.